Saturday, April 15, 2006

Impending Geek-Doom

As I sit here in front of my snazzy flat monitor, hands on the keyboard in proper typing position (even though I LOATHED typing class and failed it all four years of high school), thinking of what to write tonight (this morning?) on my messed-with-so-often-you-can't-recognize-which-template-I-used blog, I am forced to look at my wire-and-cord-strewn surroundings and sadly confirm my worst nightmare:

I, Miss M!, am a GEEK! Quelle Horreur!


What the hell happened? I mean, I was never really cool, per se, but I strived to be ever so much MORE, you know? I aspire to Louis Vuitton, little prissy dogs in dresses, and fabulous shoes, not laptops, iPods and wireless networks! I not only have a blog, but have come to realize that I am getting pretty good at deciphering the HTML mumbo jumbo on my template, as evidenced by the cosmetic changes in the last week. I'm getting pretty good at messing with Photoshop too, so much so that I aspire to one day own the full version, not just this budget LE that I am forced to make-do with. I even feel comfortable casually tossing about terms such as "layers" and "desaturation" in conversation. How Elle Woods of me!

I've started daydreaming about a new, FABULOUS laptop, maybe even a...I'm so embarrassed to admit it...a MAC!??!!?!? I hate Macs! I have to admit though, they're way cuter than PC's, and there's something irresistably snooty about them. They seem to add more credibility to that whole, "But I'm a SERIOUS DESIGNER, Dah-ling" thing. I'm the girl who badgered my husband into buying a desktop model when we were in the market for our current computer, because I absolutely LOATHED our laptop! This is just so not me!

ACK! Well, at least I managed to still reference Louis Vuitton, Elle Woods, and mention one of the selling points of the Mac for me is how dang cute they are. That's gotta count for something. Maybe there is still hope for me.

In other news, my husband has a FABULOUS new asshat:

Not that I am calling my sweetie (the dog, not the man) an Asshat. She's too cute to be an asshat. I mean, check out the clippie, the dress, the pink Coach collar. You can't see them, but her toenails are pink too. Absolutely DIVINE. I suppose the man is okay too, hahaha. Anyway, ASSHAT is one of my favorite new words, acquired in the last month or so courtesy of, who else, the Two Peas nsbr board. *sigh* Not only do I frequent a message board, I regularly quote it too. More evidence of impending total Geek-dom. Am I doomed? Keep in mind the dog, please!

Oh, one final note:

I am not a small girl. I have my own healthy helping of chub rub, and a nice cheese gut also, thank you very much. Even so, I am humble enough and honest enough with myself to know my clothing limits. I don't wear shirts that let my belly hang out the bottom, and I don't sport low rise, hip-hugging jeans that will only serve to accentuate my, uh, muffin top around town. There are just some articles of clothing that people of a certain size who have grand delusions of being smaller/cuter than they actually are should NOT wear. Case in point:

<-------

See how skinny that model is? If you have serious child-bearing hips, but have yet to bear a child of your very own, and your ass is as wide as a yardstick and flat as a pancake, and you have yourself admitted that you are "big-legged girl", perhaps skintight WHITE jeans with a little, narrow ankle are not the best look for you. Think, "waffle-cone-dipped-in-white-chocolate". Just a PSA.

Kisses!

1 Comments:

Blogger Zee said...

Asshat! LMBO! It is fun to say, and could she be any closer to his face! LOL.

On another note, see you dogs all the time is making it so hard to not long for one of my own. Sigh, but alas, they are not aloud where we live. Besides, not sure how our other furbies would take to one...ha ha.

10:58 PM  

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