Saturday, November 12, 2005

What makes me?

Some of you may have noticed a new description in my profile. I was thinking, who am I? What makes me, Me?


I've come a long way in my life, and I am pretty dang pround of myself and what I have accomplished so far. I started out as a poor kid in south Phoenix with no dad and a mom who was addicted to drugs and on welfare. I am the only one in my family with an actual high school diploma. I'm the only one who went to college. I got my ass out of the ghetto and into a decent place. I married a wonderful man. By the time my mom was my age, she was on her 3rd husband and she had 3 kids by two dads. I was the oldest at age 12. I can't even IMAGINE having a 12 year old! I've gotten to travel, and see things and experience things. I accomplished all I have through hard work and determination, and I am proud of who I have become.


For the most part, I am a reasonably happy person. I try not to let things get me down, and I don't walk around all snarly faced and grumpy like some people choose to do. People tell me that I laugh a lot.


I'm not perfect. I will be the first to admit it. I have an anxiety disorder. I have obsessive-compulsive disorder. I can be rude without really meaning to be rude, it just happens. I make bad choices sometimes. I have rotten, rotten luck. But I think the key is being willing to admit your flaws, and also, in a way, to learn to embrace them.


I like to think that I am a pretty honest person. No, that doesn't mean that I never tell lies. Occasionally, in the path of life, that's necessary. The little white ones aren't a big deal. But I pride myself on being a no bullshit kind of girl. The kind of person a friend can come to for an opinion and not have me try to blow smoke up their heiny or candy coat things.


Another think I try to be is objective. I try to look at things from other angles, even if they aren't the best for me. I want to be open minded. Yes, it's hard. But I think I do a decent job at it!


I am a goofball. Always have been, probably always will be. I don't try to be funny, but sometimes, I just am. At least, that's what people tell me. They could be trying to spare me my feelings. I'll never get my own sitcom, but I'll take what I have - the ability to make people smile.


Oh yeah. I can be petty. I try not to be, but sometimes, there is this little angry voice that cries out, "VENGEANCE!!!" when I've been wronged. I can't help it. I admit, a little IN YOUR FACE action feels kinda good inside!


I've always liked to create things and I've always been one of those "crafty" people. I learned how to crochet when I was 7 and how to sew when I was 10. I always made birthday cards for people when I was a kid. I love to paint and make beaded jewelry and scrapbook and now I am learning how to knit. If you were to ask any of my friends to describe me, the word creative would almost always be in that description.


Sometimes, I am angry. I am angry at stupid people, at injustices in the world, and life's unfairness, at dumb stuff my husband does. I don't usually stay angry for very long, but sometimes, yeah, I get pissy.


Ha! I need to explain this??? I like to TALK!!!


I have this thing... I loooooooove gossip. Gossip about people I know, people I don't know, people I've only met once or twice... oh how I love the cattiness and the drama of it all! I know that gossiping is BAD, and that I shouldn't do it, but sometimes it just starts off as conversation and then evolves into the gossip. Also, I like being in the know. I HATE that feeling like you are out of the loop. It's like being part of the "in" crowd. I'll just add this to my flaws list and live with it!

Little dog-crazed: My dogs are my kids. I am just such a sucker for a little dog! They're the cutest things! I like the way they look, their size, their cute little faces and tiny wagging tails. I love to put little sweaters and shirts on them. I like to pick them up and snuggle with them and let them lick my face with their miniscule tongues! You just can't do that with a 100+ lb dog!

Imperfect girl! That's me! It's who I am and I like me that way. Perfect is boring. I think about what it would be like to be perfect. To always have the clean house, the done hair and makeup, the nice nails, the good body, the stylish wardrobe, the perfect job, a homemade dinner on the table every night. Everyone would HATE me. What fun is that?

Of course, I seem to inspire hate in some people. I seem to be one of those people that you either really like or really hate. Not sure why. But I have reached a point in my life where I have realized that I am too old to deal with all of the high school bullshit. If you don't like me, SO WHAT? I am not gonna cry or worry about it. I have people who I interact with everyday, friends and aquaintances and family who fill my life just fine.

I am thankful for every one of you!


Blogger Melissa said...

What great things! I don't really know what I would use to describe myself. That's a good one! Maybe I will think about it and post it on my blog. BTW, love the cute little dancing yorkies!
Thanks for sharing part of you!

8:14 AM  

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