Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The Higher Road

I'm so flippin' pissed. Seriously.

Okay. Let's go back...way back. I don't know if I posted before about how I was in a sorority in college. That was a fun time. I joined because I liked the idea of lifelong sisterhood and having this bond with thousands of women I've never met over the last 150 something years and into the future, blah blah blah.

It kinda kicked in for me about what, like three years ago or so. I love me some 2 peas in a bucket, and my name there used to be ADPi Scrapper. I also have my location listed on there. I got an email through the site one day from this girl (we'll call her so-and-so) who said she was also an ADPi from the city I lived in. We corresponded back and forth a bit, comparing who we knew. I looked up her work on 2 peas and she was really good.

The funny part was, whenever I mentioned her name to any of the sisters who had been in the house longer than I had, not one knew who she was, and by the timeline she gave me, and the info, they should have.

So, anyway, scrapbooking and the internet being what they are and all, I kept bumping into her here and there on different sites. I was a fan of her work and always shared with people that we were "sisters" and how talented I thought she was.

One day, one of my sisters was over, and I showed her a layout in a magazine that this girl had done that had her own picture on it. I was like, see, THIS is the girl I've been telling you about!

My sister looked at the layout, and says, OH, that's so-and-so THIS. She's a BITCH.

I said, no, that's so-and-so THAT.

My sister says uh-uh, everyone in the house knows so-and-so THIS, and she's one of the biggest bitches I've ever met. She must have gotten married or something and that's why her name is different now.

I said no, so-and-so THAT has never been married, she's been with her boyfriend for quite a while too, so that can't be it. And besides, this girl seems pretty well liked and she's always been nice to me.

My sister looks at the layout again and says, well, I know that is so-and-so THIS, and she's bad news. I dont' know why her name is different, but trust me on this one.

So I am all like, whatever.

Well, So-and-so gets a job at one LSS in town. People who come into contact with her and talk to me say man, that girl is talented but MAN, what a BITCH! I hear this over and over again. I just don't get it. She seems to have a large circle of friends, she's always been nice to me (even though at this point we've never met face to face) and so I defend her. Maybe you caught her on a bad day, I say.

I meet her boyfriend, by just random odd luck. I was a receptionist for an insurance firm, and he was selling office supplies. I recognized him from her layouts. We were like, no way! and we chatted a while. This guy seems really nice, and he calls her from the parking lot of our building to tell her, and she posts on the site we were both on at the time about how funny it was.

Then she gets a job at another LSS. I shop everywhere in town, on a pretty random basis. When the owner found out that I left my job at the big store, she hired me. I was so excited to finally meet the famous so-and-so that had been published so often and I had talked to online but never met in person. She was cool online, she had to be cool in real life right?

Well. She was a little stand-offish. It really didn't bother me, because I know that I can be like that when I first meet someone and I havent' really gotten to know them yet. I can be a little shy, and that sometimes translates into being stuck up. Whatever right? She was never outright RUDE to me. Just not super friendly like the other girls were.

Still, whenever someone talked about what a bitch so-and-so was, I always defended her. Hey, we were coworkers, and we still had that sisterhood bond, blah blah blah, right? And I truly liked her. I thought she was talented and had a wicked sense of humor. So I told people, you just have to give her time to get to know you and be comfortable, that's all. That's just her personality. She's not as bad as everyone says.

Guess what? She WAS as bad as everyone said. Boy, do I feel like a stupid Polly-Anna, grade A idiot right about now.

Without getting into details about how, I found out today that this girl had been bad mouthing me from the day she met me. She was NOT happy that I was working at that store. She was NOT happy that I was scheduled to teach classes there and she was GLAD when I left, even if it meant that she had to teach my classes. WTF?

What did I ever do to her? Why would she have such a problem with me? What did I ever say to offend her? It's not like I was stalking her or anything. Remember, she contacted me FIRST. I've never even emailed her, the most was to reply to her posts on message boards or to praise a layout here and there.

Now of course, this could be untrue. The thing is, the person who told me this had no reason to lie to me. Heck, we haven't even spoken or seen each other in months.

I think about how I posted (see previous entry)
when I worked there how I was envious of the other girls and how they hung out together, and I wished that I could have scrap nights with them too.

"I like what I am doing, which is a good thing, and I like the people I am working with, which is a double good thing. There are a couple of girls who work there who are about my age and in my situation (long term relationship/married, no kids) that got together this weekend to scrapbook, and I have to admit, I was a little jealous. Hopefully we will become friends. There is one I have worked with quite a bit and I really like her. She's really nice and fun to talk to."

Now I know that I was just like the fat, pimply faced girl in junior high that was always made fun of when she wasn't around, and it makes me feel sad, and angry, and just plain stupid.

To top it off, so-and-so makes a pious post on HER blog today about how she is learning to be an adult and take the higher road. Unfortunately for me, she learned it just a little too late.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a gifted teacher and she is a racist, judgmental whack job who would not recognize honesty if it bit her in the behind.

Karma is as karma does, and she is overdue. Except, oh yeah, she is taking the "high road". Hope she enjoys the view because her rep is already in tatters. (From the carnage she leaves in her wake.)

How many design teams has she been kicked off of, oh excuse me, she has decided to resign from because of some unpleasantness? After a while, you realize that the common thread in all those dysfunctional relationships is, you got her, her.

So sorry that you got smooshed in the process. You deserve better. :)

8:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do not waste your valuable time on someone that will only speak to others if they think they will gain something in return. You are one of the most talented gals I have ran into since living in the valley, but there are others. I know you and you are a much bigger person and you WILL take the higher road b/c you are much more mature than she.

6:07 PM  
Blogger Zee said...

Ugh! I had no idea and am so sorry. People like that just tick me off. Sadly there seems to many in the scrap world.

I know this isn't much but you're one of the cool kids in my book. :)

9:19 PM  
Blogger xxx said...

That sucks. I lurk in the peadom, so I did some detective work and I think I know who you are talking about (yeah, I just like the gossip sometimes--ha ha ha).

It truly sucks to find out someone isn't really as nice and sincere as their pen is.

2:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guess the high road got lonesome, huh?

Seems "she" had to leave the state to find someone willing to put up with her. She'll fit in well in the deep south, wear she can continue to brag about her prejudices. At least she'll have plenty of company.

9:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find it totally hilarious that so many of the anonymous posts that you let stay - have typos, grammatical errors, etc. You all sure do stick together. Loser is as loser does...it just cracks me up!!

If you don't want anonymous posts - remove the option from the comments section. Don't put the option there if you're not willing to deal with the results!!

1:39 PM  

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