Serenity NOW.
I went to the mall for lunch the other day, and as I was walking out something funny happened. There were two girls walking in front of me having a conversation, when suddenly, one of them turned to me and asked if I liked getting massages. That's not even what they were talking about!
Anyway, I tell her, no, not really. The other girl looked a little taken aback, and they both kind of looked at each other like, she knows we're trying to sell something. So the first girl says to me, Really? You don't like going for a massage and getting pampered?
Like I'm crazy or something, right?
She continues - Do you mind if I ask why not?
I looked her dead in the eye, and said, I don't like strangers touching me.
They exchanged glances again (these girls, they didn't know the meaning of the word "subtle") and said okay, thanks and went on their merry way.
Another stupid story - but a little background first. My husband has this psychological issue where he refuses to go to bed. He will pass out in front of the TV most nights. If I wake him, he claims he wasn't asleep, no matter how loud he was snoring. He claims he's not tired. I'm thinking, if it's 3 am, there's no shame in being tired, but he won't hear it. He's like a stubborn little kid on this issue, and after eight years together, it's a battle I've chosen to no longer pick.
The compromise we've come up with, however, is that when I am ready for bed, he comes along and tucks me in. We chat for a few minutes, then he gives me a kiss goodnight and goes about his business.
For this story, you also need to know that I sleep with a regular pillow under my head, and a feather pillow next to me. It's like a security thing, the teddy bear I never outgrew I guess.
Last night, we're all laying in bed, and my husband and I are talking. Gidget usually burrows under the blankets to sleep, but last night she came out from under there and started messing with my husband. She's licking him, pawing at his head, and just being a nuisance while we're trying to talk. I kept picking her up and setting her down on the pillow next to me, and she kept going over and bothering him. I would tell her, no, you want to be with the MAMA, and she'd go right over to him again. Finally, after the fifth or sixth time, she stayed on the pillow for a bit, then went to the foot of the bed. I told her FINE, be that way.
So I roll over and toss my arm on the pillow while still chatting with my husband. I'm thinking, MAN, this pillow is REALLY warm... wait a minute... this pillow is WET!!! I jumped out of bed, turned on the lamp, and threw back the covers. Sure enough, that dang dog had peed on the blanket, through the sheet, and SOAKED my feather pillow! Of course, because I was snuggling with said pee pee pillow, I had dog pee down my arm, along my torso, and soaked through my bra. I yelled at the dog, but she only gave me a dirty look, like, I tried to tell you guys but you didn't listen.
Needless to say, that pillow is now in the trash. I had to go shower while my husband changed the sheets. This is good practice, right? For the future?
Anyway, I tell her, no, not really. The other girl looked a little taken aback, and they both kind of looked at each other like, she knows we're trying to sell something. So the first girl says to me, Really? You don't like going for a massage and getting pampered?
Like I'm crazy or something, right?
She continues - Do you mind if I ask why not?
I looked her dead in the eye, and said, I don't like strangers touching me.
They exchanged glances again (these girls, they didn't know the meaning of the word "subtle") and said okay, thanks and went on their merry way.
Another stupid story - but a little background first. My husband has this psychological issue where he refuses to go to bed. He will pass out in front of the TV most nights. If I wake him, he claims he wasn't asleep, no matter how loud he was snoring. He claims he's not tired. I'm thinking, if it's 3 am, there's no shame in being tired, but he won't hear it. He's like a stubborn little kid on this issue, and after eight years together, it's a battle I've chosen to no longer pick.
The compromise we've come up with, however, is that when I am ready for bed, he comes along and tucks me in. We chat for a few minutes, then he gives me a kiss goodnight and goes about his business.
For this story, you also need to know that I sleep with a regular pillow under my head, and a feather pillow next to me. It's like a security thing, the teddy bear I never outgrew I guess.
Last night, we're all laying in bed, and my husband and I are talking. Gidget usually burrows under the blankets to sleep, but last night she came out from under there and started messing with my husband. She's licking him, pawing at his head, and just being a nuisance while we're trying to talk. I kept picking her up and setting her down on the pillow next to me, and she kept going over and bothering him. I would tell her, no, you want to be with the MAMA, and she'd go right over to him again. Finally, after the fifth or sixth time, she stayed on the pillow for a bit, then went to the foot of the bed. I told her FINE, be that way.
So I roll over and toss my arm on the pillow while still chatting with my husband. I'm thinking, MAN, this pillow is REALLY warm... wait a minute... this pillow is WET!!! I jumped out of bed, turned on the lamp, and threw back the covers. Sure enough, that dang dog had peed on the blanket, through the sheet, and SOAKED my feather pillow! Of course, because I was snuggling with said pee pee pillow, I had dog pee down my arm, along my torso, and soaked through my bra. I yelled at the dog, but she only gave me a dirty look, like, I tried to tell you guys but you didn't listen.
Needless to say, that pillow is now in the trash. I had to go shower while my husband changed the sheets. This is good practice, right? For the future?
Miss M told you so @ 9:23 AM
2 Comments:
mwaaaahaaaa. what were you wearing your bra to bed for anyway?
I always wear it to bed. That's why my girls ain't saggy yet!
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