Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Congratulations!

I was cleaning out My Documents on the computer, and I came across this little gem. In case you were wondering how to earn yourself A-hole status, here are some clues:


Congrats, You’re An Asshole!

Assholes rarely know why they are the way they are, so here’s a clue for you on your journey of self-improvement:

Double parking
Parking in handicap space
Leaving dog in car
Not shovelling sidewalk
Creating your own parking space
Talking really loudly on cell phone while riding public transportation
Being a loud inconsiderate neighbour
Cutting in line
Bringing sixteen items to the fifteen-item express lane
Not tipping / not tipping enough
Not cleaning up after yourself
Not controlling dog
Not giving up seat on public transportation when someone obviously needs it more than you
Walking three abreast on city sidewalks
Leaving trash outside your apartment door
Not dealing with car alarm
Excessive car-horn honking
Leaving kids in car
Leaving your car idling while you run into the store
Snacking on produce and bulk items in grocery store
Not returning your shopping cart to the cart corral even though you are only parked a few spaces away
Opening car door without looking and endangering cyclists
Smoking in non-smoking areas
Taking up too much time with teller because you don't understand how banking works
Using an ATM for 18 consecutive transactions when people are waiting
Not letting others cut grocery line if they have only a couple items
Berating servicepeople for things not their fault
Parking too close to other cars thereby blocking them in
Not letting others out of the train/bus/store/post office before pushing way in
Not making more coffee when you finish the pot
Wearing too much perfume or cologne
Stopping to chat or look around in front of doorway, elevator or escalator
Leaving laundry sitting idle in machine at laundromat
Littering
Talking loudly on cell phone
Not holding the door for the person behind you whose arms are full
Using Barnes & Noble as den
Bringing child to R-rated film
Stinking up office with foul meals and snacks
Trying to sneak through a yellow light, ending up parked in intersection, blocking traffic
Sneezing without covering nose and offering snotty handshake
Not wiping equipment down after you've gotten it sweaty at gym
Not washing hands after using washroom
*Plus a blank entry for you to write in*

I think, so far, I 'm doing okay!

Labels:

2 Comments:

Blogger Lida said...

LOL, I loooove it, and with your permision I shall forward it to some a-holes I know.;)

4:52 PM  
Blogger Miss M! said...

You go for it. We will be ridding the world of them, one a-hole at a time!

6:20 PM  

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