Monday, February 27, 2006

Top Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

I got this in my email today... Can I TELL you how guilty I am? Let's see:

1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all !!!

*hanging my head in shame* I do this all the time. It's this diet! All this healthy eating has made me gassy! I can't help it. It didn't seem like they minded that much...

2. Yelling at me for barking.. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

But they bark at NOTHING! And we live in an apartment, I don't want the neighbors to complain, call them the idiots!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

Okay, yeah, it's their walk, but honestly, you have to sniff EVERY rock, tree, bush, pole, etc?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it

Aw, but it's cute...

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

Again, it's cute. That's why I got Yorkies, duh. Live with it. It's what you are!

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! WooHoo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

Fine. Yeah, I do it, and I'll do it again. It cracks me up still every time, and you usually figure out that I have it behind me anyway, so what's the harm, right?

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

Finally! One I can plead innocence on!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

Yet another one where I am innocent, but only because my girls can't REACH the crotches of my guests.

9.Dog sweaters. Hello ???, Haven't you noticed the fur?

Yeah, and haven't you noticed I clip it all off? Can't have my little cuties catch cold, now can I? Bwa ha haha!

10. Now lay off me on some of these thing's, We both know who the boss is here!!! You don't see me picking up your poop do you ???

Yeah, but who decides when you get dinner?

Aw who the hell am I kidding? Your "dad" picks up the poop! That would make me STILL the boss! WOO!


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