One Month

Missing:  One Blogger.

She's been gone for slightly over a month.  Where did she go?  Oh, nowhere exciting.  She's pretty much been where she always is - at home with her children.

So why has she been away for so long?

I blame one precious little miracle.

That's a photo of what I deal with when I try to pump.  Or do anything really. Someone hit her clingy/stranger anxiety phase and she's hit it with a vengeance.  I haven't been able to do ANYTHING.  I shower maybe twice a week.  I never cook anymore.  My house is in total disarray.  Forget doing things I'd like to do, such as working on my Project Life or blogging.  Things are more chaotic now than they were when she was a newborn.  As I take two minutes to type this, she's clutching my ankles and having a total melt down.

Going to pee is no fun, let me tell you.

Lord help the person who gives me "helpful" suggestions such as "put her in a carrier" or "do chores or shower while she naps!"  Have I mentioned that my child will not freaking take a nap???  It's making me nutty.  Her brother was on a perfect, every three hour Babywise schedule when he was a baby.  This one?  No nap until Daddy comes home, then it's maybe 20 minutes in his arms.  Still, I feel like I can't complain too hard since she does sleep through the night like a champ and has almost since the beginning.

And that carrier business?  Did I ever tell you that I'm short?  Did you know short people have short arms?  With a baby strapped to my chest, and considering I have a bit of a belly and 36DDD boobs (yeah, I went there) there is not a lot of arm length left over.  I'm not doing many chores like that, and I'm especially not cooking.

Even when she will play on her own I have to watch her like a hawk because she is also loving to stick junk in her mouth that shouldn't be there.  At least once a day I have a finger down her throat fishing out some piece of detritus that is causing her to choke because I had the nerve to look away for one second.  Imagine if I didn't have eyes on her constantly?

I'm frustrated.

Did I mention I have another kid too?

He's hardcore testing boundaries.  He talks back like it's his job, doesn't listen, has an attitude.  I know it's his age, and hopefully this too shall pass, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant.  I also have quite a bit of guilt because I'm just not able to give him the one on one time he so desperately needs.  I'm certain that a lot of his acting out is just an attempt to gain some attention.  At this age, negative attention is better than no attention at all.  This is a dangerous trap into which to fall!

So, if you are wondering where I've been, and why I am not around as much... yeah.  :(