I know that it was inevitable.
I know that in the grand scheme of things, it isn't THAT important.
I know that really, it's my own fault for being fat in the first place.
I know that there isnt' that much difference between 195 and 200, even if one seems okay and one seems positively...blimpish.
I know that this is a psychological thing in my head, and that I need to just deal with it and move on.
That doesn't make it any easier. *sigh* I started crying, right there in the doctor's office, over a stupid NUMBER on the scale. I'm kind of ashamed of myself, because I've been doing so well with the weight thing, but that NUMBER.... I'm still kind of in shock right now, trying not to think about it too much. I've never weighed this much EVER in my life! It's not exactly the time to go on a diet either.
In all actuality though, I've only gained 11 lbs so far, according to my doctor. She said frankly, if I hadn't gained at least that much by this point, we'd be having a serious talk. She told me that she expects me to gain between 20 - 25 lbs overall by the time the baby gets here. I'm right on track for that and doing very, very well weight gain-wise, so stop worrying about it.
She told me that my baby was small, in the 25th percentile. He's healthy and active though. He's just going to be little like his parents. His heartbeat was 150 bpm. She was listening to him on the right side of my stomach, and then it just stopped. She made a face, and says, I think he's hiding from me! Sure enough, she moved the Doppler over to the far left side of my stomach, and there he was.
He's gonna be a comedian like his father.
I also had blood in my urine again. I can't see it, but they say it's there so she's going to run some tests. Also, she scheduled me for my glucose test. That's in four weeks, at my next appointment. I'm sooooo excited. (*sarcasm*)