Monday, July 28, 2008

World's longest survey

This ought to help me kill a little time while I decide what to do today. I found it on another blog. Totally invasive, but you know, I have time. Being a housewife ROCKS. (except for that cleaning part)

1. How long has it been since you've ridden a schoolbus?-Surprisingly, it's only been a few years because I've worked with kids. Field trips!

2. What do you think of frogs?-LOVE frogs. I have a frog tattoo. My baby's nursery is decorated in a frog theme. I used to have a pet frog.

3. What's the worst Christmas present you've ever gotten?- My mom gave me a silver heart shaped ring with little wings, inlaid with tiny bits of the brightest turquoise you ever saw. If I had aspired to ride Harleys and wear leather chaps, it would have been perfect. Unfortuately, that's not really my aesthetic.

4. Suppose you *had* to get some sort of tattoo, right now. What would you get?- I can't get a tattoo, they kinda frown on that when you're pregnant. I was thinking my next tattoo would be little wings on my hipbones with I made it to the point where I could actually SEE my hipbones, but now, I'm thinking something for the baby. Maybe his birthday in roman numerals somewhere?

5. Which would you rather die from, burning to death or "bird flu"?-I'm not exactly sure just what dying of bird flu entails, but it's gotta be better than burning alive, right?

6. If weed was legal, would you smoke it?-No. I tried it once and talk about being a major let down. Waste of time and energy. Hurt too.

7. How about if heroin was legal?-Yeah, because that sounds SO much more appealing than the weed, with the needles and all. YUCK.

8. Do you use any kind of lip gloss/lip balm?- I'm an addict. I always have some sort of chapstick type thing in my purse, and in my nightstand, plus I have a ton of various lipglosses stashed all over. Right now my favorite is the MAC one that makes your lips tingle a little and tastes like vanilla in this pretty orange/pink glittery shade.

9. Do you like pumpkin pie?-Yes, but I hate when it's undercooked and mushy. I make a kick ass pumpkin pie too, in case you were wondering.

10. Who do you want to be President (it doesn't have to be an actual candidate)?-Not a moron?

11. If you were alive in the 1960s, would you have been a hippie?-No, I'm against being smelly, and I HATE patchouli.

12. Do you like dinosaurs? Which is your favorite?- Yup. My favorite was the Brontosaurus. Can I tell you how heartbroken I was when they decided that it didn't actually exist after all? Leave it to me to pick that one, huh?

13. What genre of music makes you want to shoot your ears off?-Club music where one phrase is repeated over and over along with a repetitive beat... it's what I imagine brainwashing to be like.

14: What was the last board game you played?-Scrabble, a few weeks ago with my husband. He beat me. He ALWAYS freaking beats me. I wish we could find another couple to have game night with sometimes. That would be fun. I'd even make snacks. We need couple friends.

15. Would you let your grandma set you up on a blind date?- No. I'm married. It would be inappropriate.

16. Speaking of which, ever been hit on by a much, much older person?-Not that I can remember. I dated a guy 13 years older than me once though. I was sixteen.

17. You can't find the remote. Where is the first place you look?-The drawer in the coffee table. It's taken a lot of work, but my husband knows that's where it belongs now if the TV is off. I'm so proud.

18. Where would you rather live, in a barn or in an inner-city church basement?-I'd have to see them and decide which had the least amount of bugs and smelled better.

19. How do you feel about Hello Kitty?- Love me some Hello Kitty.

20. Paper or plastic?-Neither? I try to be good and remember to use the canvas bag, because I want to be good for the environment and it is easier to sling that over my shoulder than to have ten plastic bags cutting into my fingers, but in all honesty, I forget it a lot and end up with plastic. Which is okay I guess, I can use them to line my bathroom trash can and to pick up dog poop...

21: Compost heaps: yes or no?-I can only imagine how bad that would smell in this heat. I can't be THAT good for the environment!!!

22: What kind of socks are you wearing right now?-Socks? I'm barefoot and pregnant, baby!

23. Are you part of a "subculture"?-Uh, I guess I'm part of the anti-subculture subculture? Come on, I scrapbook, I bake, I carry designer purses, I own Yorkies... I'm so square.

24. Do you type with all your fingers, or just 2?-All of them. I'm just finally not looking at them in the past year or two though, despite starting using a keyboard at age nine. Oops.

25. Do you believe in astrology?-Maybe a little, but I take it with a grain of salt. I will admit that I am hoping this baby comes before October 23 so it can be a Libra (very agreeably natured) as opposed to a Scorpio (like my mom).

26. Are you good at math?- I add on my fingers.

27. Are you politically correct?- I'm polite. I try to not purposefully offend people. I'm sure I have my moments though, because I prefer to be honest about things though.

28. Do you know what a semicolon is?-What kind of grown person who has gone to school and graduated doesn't???

29. Have you ever worn a Hawaiian shirt?-No. Not a particularly flattering silhouette, if you ask me. I did used to have a Hawaiian print dress once. I wore it to a beach wedding.

30. Have you ever dated someone you didn't really like? Why?-why would anyone date someone they didn't like? Now, there are people I dated that I didn't really like by the end of the relationship, but that's a different story.

31. Do you resent members of the opposite sex?-not really. Well, maybe a smidge when I'm standing in line for the women's bathroom, and they have no line.

32. Atlantic or Pacific?-An ocean is an ocean. Salty. Sandy. Full of seaweedy crap.

33. What animal do you most resemble?-I have no idea.

34. How often do you eat macaroni and cheese?-NEVER. I hate macaroni and cheese. It's a joke in our house because my husband adores the stuff.

35. Are you into philosophy? If so, what are your philosophical influences?-I'm very philosophical. *snort* My philosophical influence is Kermit the Frog. It ain't easy being green...

36. What was the best concert you've ever been to?-Matchbox Twenty. Rob Thomas could have sat up there and sang I'm a Little Teapot and it still would have won. Prince was pretty good too. Cyndi Lauper opened for that one. She had blue hair, was barefoot, and pregnant.

37. If someone gave you $100,000 to shave your head, would you?-That's a tough one. Probably. Then we could use it as a downpayment on a house. My hair grows pretty fast.

36. Have you ever met a hermaphrodite?-Does a cat count? I met one a couple of weeks ago.

38. Would you ever participate in anal sex? If so, would you give or receive?-How the hell did this question get on here???

39. Do you sweat a lot?-YES, and I hate it! I totally wish I was one of those "cool as a cucumber" people, but I'm just a sweaty mess. Can I tell you how nasty boob sweat is?

40. What, if any, hair products do you use?-HealthySexyHair Chocolate Soymilk shampoo and conditioner is pretty much it most days. There's some Dove hairspray and mousse in the cabinet in case I decide to horse around with it, but mostly, I just let it air dry then run it throught the straightening iron. I've gotta get some of that heat protector stuff.

41. Do you enjoy thrill rides (roller coasters, etc.)?-Holy crap do I! Tatsu at Magic Mountain is AMAZING.

42. Have you ever seen a 3-D movie?-Yup. The Imax ones are especially cool.

43. What should someone do if they deliberately want to make a bad impression on you?-Be racist, homophobic, or exhibit some other kind of ignorant hate. Smell bad. Insult me. Be mean to a child who is not misbehaving at all. Ignore a child who is.

44. Have you ever drank a whole bottle of liquor by yourself?-No. I've come close though!

45. Does anyone know you're filling out this survey right now?-The dog is watching me. Oh wait, she's asleep. Never mind.

46. Do you smoke cigarettes, and if so, what kind?-No. I'm against being voluntarily stinky. Yuck.

47. What word processing program is on your computer?-Microsoft Word. (my husband uses WordPad - hee hee!)

48. Have you ever read "The Odyssey"? What did you think of it?-I either read that, or the Iliad in college for Theatre History. Obviously, it didn't make much of an impression as I can't remember it at all.

49. What's the worst insult anyone's ever given you?-I honestly couldn't tell you. I don't keep that kind of detail filed away in my brain, just a general list of people who have hurt me and with whom I want nothing to do.

50. The best compliment?- Of all people, my last boss told me that I had good morals and convictions and I was very strong to stand by them even when it was hard or unpopular, and she admired that about me.

51. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? - The bedroom door must remain cracked open so that little dogs can come and go as they please, or else I'd get no rest due to scratching and frustrated whimpering all night.

52. What is your favorite item from your favorite fast-food restaurant?- It changes on a daily basis.

53. Do small children like you?-Depends on the kid and what I think of them...

54. Do animals like you?- I like to think so.

55. Would you rather be too hot or too cold?-Too cold - you can always bundle up. You can only get so naked if you're hot, you know? Then there is that whole sweating thing, BLECH!

56. What's your favorite beer?- Root beer.

57. Have you ever lived in a college dorm? If not, do you think you could handle it?-No. Maybe at one point in my life I could have handled it, but by the time I actually made it to college, no way in HELL.

58. Have you ever met a psychotic person (officially diagnosed)?- No, but I've been around people who I was suspicious should be.

59. Which show sucks less: "The Hills" or "Wheel Of Fortune"?-Wheel of Fortune. I tried the Hills once, made it like five minutes. BORING.

60. Do you like spicy food?- Nope. I'm a generic Mexican. I don't like beans, guacamole, or salsa either.

61. Do you read poetry? If so, who is your favorite poet?-Can I count John Mayer as a poet?

62. What else could you be doing, other than filling out this survey?-Cleaning my bathroom, combing my hair, going to the UPS store, going to the grocery store, working on my baby blanket, reading a book...

63. What is your earliest memory?-Disneyland at age two with my aunt and uncle. I was wearing a red tee shirt with a number on the front in brown, and brown corduroy pants. I had one of those balloons with the mouse ears, a blue one, and I accidentally let it go. I was so upset, but they told me I was supposed to let it go, that was what everyone did at Disneyland.

64. What is something you consider "classy"?-Uh.. I can tell you what is NOT classy. Rose tattoos on your boob. That's what.

65. What video/computer games do you like?-Tetris? I'm so not into video games, I leave that to the husband. I am a pokemon master though, thank you very much.

66. Do you know your IQ, and if so, what is it?-It's between 132 and 136. I'm convinced that if I could add I'd be a genius. The best part is that my husband's is EXACTLY THE SAME. How convenient is that? I'm so glad he's not smarter than me, LOL!

67. Do you drink TAB?- No, but I tried their energy drink once and it wasn't bad.

68. Do you talk about your friends behind their backs?- I think if you have to talk about someone behind their backs, you probably shouldn't be friends. I talk smack about people I don't like, haha! I pride myself on not being two-faced, and I can't stand people who are.

69. Do you use abbreviations such as LOL or OMG outside of IMs?- Crap... see #66

70. What is your favorite vegetable?-Asparagus. I loooooooove asparagus, especially roasted with a little olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic. YUM.

71. Sweet or sour?-Depends on the day.

72. What's the longest airplane ride you've ever been on?- Hawaii. I think that was the longest. Either that or to New York. They're both pretty far.

73. Do you regularly take any medication?- Lately, YES. Ugh. I have my prenatal vitamins, my anti-viral for the shingles, and I'm supposed to be taking the Iron supplements but they did very very bad things to my stomach for the 5 days I was taking them, so I plan on having a chat with my doctor about it on Wednesday. My stomach is barely now starting to get back to normal, three days later.

74. What's the closest you've ever come to dying?-No clue.

75. What are you really proud of that not many people know about?- I'm pretty open about what I'm proud about. I think the biggest thing is that I got out of the ghetto, finished school without getting pregnant or into drugs or gangs like most of the people I knew back there, got married and turned out mostly normal, despite everything.

76. Are you really into high school or college sports?- No sports for me.

77. Do you regularly spend money on things you don't need?- Mostly my impulse buys are small things. My big thing is that I get something I need, but nicer than I need. For example, I NEEDED a diaper bag. I did NOT need a Gucci diaper bag. I needed black flats for work. I did NOT need Coach ballet flats.

78. Have you ever practiced archery?- No.

79. Do you eat the cherry on top of your ice cream sundae?- Yup, and sometimes I'll ask for extras. I also eat them out of my drinks, even though I know it's tacky to eat the garnish.

80. What does the color yellow make you think of?-butter. lemons. Food, haha!

81. What is your local newspaper called?-The Arizona Republic.

82. What city do you wish was your hometown?-Anywhere cooler than here. There's nothing cool about Phoenix, literally or figuratively.

83. You've just farted loudly in public. What do you do?- I've never done that! Thank GOD!!! I'd probably blame my husband though, if he were around.

84. Have you ever had a lucid dream?- Yes, and I really hate it when it's something really really good and you wake up and you're like, OH CRAP, guess not huh?

85. How about sleep paralysis?-Nope, but I had a bitch of a charley horse the other day. I fell out of bed howling in pain. Not my finest moment.

86. How often do you dream about zombies?-Can't say I ever have!

87. What kind of accent do you have (EVERYONE has one)?-A messed up one? People are always telling me I have one, but I have no clue how, as I've lived here with them practically my whole life. My mom has a slight Texas one, and I think that may have crept in a bit, but not enough to be identifiable.

88. Do you think mushrooms are cool-looking?- Yup. Posted a blurry pic of some a few weeks ago as a matter of fact.

98. Are you dyslexic?- nope

90. Do you think it's interesting to study religions other than the one you practice?-Kinda. I enjoyed religion class in college, but it's not interesting enough to actively pursue studying them just for fun.

91. Have you ever felt an earthquake?- No, thank goodness!

92. Suppose you're the greatest painter who ever lived, but you can only paint one last picture before you die. What is your painting of?-Something incredibly stupid, just to mess with people's heads.

93. What is the sexiest color of finger/toenail polish?-I can tell you what isn't - BLUE. Especially DARK blue. Blech.

94. What is the worst job you could possibly imagine having?- The one I just left? The guy who has to clean port-a-potties? Those are kinda comparable...

.95. Do you think pigs are cute?-only baby pigs. Did you not see Babe? Big ones are gross and smelly.

96. Do you pay your own bills?-Not anymore! WOO HOO, let's hear it for the husband!

97. How many methods of contraception are you aware of?-Aware of? I think most of them. Using? haha, wanna guess?

98. Do you own ripped jeans that weren't ripped on purpose?-No. Not even any that were ripped on purpose.

99. Can you give a good back massage?-I think I do, but I'm pretty lazy and don't do it. It's okay, he doesn't really do it either.

100. What do you do before you go to sleep?- Snuggle with the dogs, chat with my husband, try to get comfortable, feel the baby settle in for the night.

Okay, just so you know, this took me an hour and a half to do!!!

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