Thursday, November 09, 2006

It all started so well.

I was having such a good morning! I have lost 4 lbs this week, I had a good breakfast, the weather is PERFECT (I'm wearing a tank top in November! WEE!!!), I picked up the Bazzill order, I got a Chai at is good.

Then I checked my email.

All right kiddies, it's storytime! Background:

***Disclaimer - the following may be disturbing to some people. Involves sex and pedophilia and just yuck.

When I was 15, the summer before my senior year of high school, I enrolled in a program called Cooperative Office Education. Basically, I got a job and got to go to work for half the day instead of being in school. I got a paycheck and I got school credit. Pretty sweet deal.

Well, I got a job working for the Dial (as in the soap) Corporation as a clerical assistant. This meant that all of a sudden I was thrust into a corporate world full of adults, and OLD ones at that, when all I was used to was the ghetto and school. I did well at it though.

One of my duties was to mail parts and information for various items to customers. I spent a lot of time going to and from the mail room on the 14th floor. Well, the clerk in charge of the window was this guy. He was nice, and funny, and since we saw each other so often, we established a rapport.

One thing led to another, and I found myself involved with this older man. I was 16 by then, and of course, I thought it was pretty damn cool. Obviously, so did he. When I found myself at the end of high school faced with a decision on where to live, we decided that it would be best if I moved in with him.

I was sixteen - he was twenty nine.

My MOTHER was thirty two.

She voiced her concern ONCE over the situation, and I reminded her that when I was born she was also 16, and my father was 28. For most mothers that would have been all the more reason to NOT allow it, but for mine, it pretty much ended the conversation.

Needless to say, it wasn't a healthy relationship. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone how old I was, or mention it when my birthday was approaching. He was cold to me, except of course when he wanted the obvious. I was too immature to know any better. We were together for almost 2 years, and then we broke up.

We were apart for about six months, then he came knocking on my door. I went home with him and stayed the night. He woke me up in the morning, and asked me to marry him. I told him to be quiet, it was too early in the morning to be talking stupid, and I went back to sleep. I was 17.

Turned out he only thought he missed me, and we went our seperate ways. Every now and again our paths would cross, and we would do that friend's with benefits thing, but it never really worked out, and we'd get tired of each other. He was too passive aggressive, I was too immature and demanding.

Everytime something would go wrong with a roommate though, that's where I would end up until the next roommate would come along. It was free rent, and all I had to do was cook dinner. And put out of course. It got to the point where he would look at me with this look, and I would just be repulsed, but I would always give in, because he would pester me like a 2 year old for a new toy, nonstop until I did. But those last few years, I hated it. I loathed it with every ounce of my being but did it anyway because it was that or be homeless. I truly felt like I had no other choice.

Finally, I told him enough. I wasn't going to do this anymore. He said fine, and he wanted to prove to me that I wasn't just an object like I accused him of treating me. I was staying there yet again because of yet another roommate situation not working out, and I slept in the extra bedroom. I woke up one night to find him nude, at the foot of my bed, masturbating. I was furious, as you could imagine, and made him leave. I started to lock my door after that, but about a week or so later I caught him again. He had jimmied the lock. It was time for me to leave, and I never went back. I was 22.

We talked from time to time, and a pattern became clear. Even though we were both getting older, his choices for women were not. He told me once that he had met this woman he liked, but she was too old for him. I asked her age and he said she was 23. I was 24 at the time, so that would have made him 37! I pointed this out and he just brushed it off.

I caught him more than once looking at those "barely legal" porn sites online. He also had a thing for cheerleader uniforms, lace anklet socks, and pigtails.

The man is a pedophile.

It just got to the point where I couldn't really talk to him anymore, because whenever we emailed each other he would inevitably try to make the conversation of a sexual nature. I don't want to think about him that way anymore. I don't want to think about that part of my life PERIOD anymore!

So a few days ago, I get an email from him, hey, how's it been? I was like well, you know where my blog is, you could read it there. He emailed back that yeah, he had seen the blog, saw I went to the lesbian bar in Oklahoma, how was that? I said I had fun, got drunk, kissed a girl. Nothing that I haven't said to ANYONE else. Public knowledge.

This is where he took it too far. He said that the question was whether or not there was tongue involved. I was like , duh, it was a lesbian bar. He says thats hot, then you'll appreciate this, and there is an attachement on the email with my initials. I'm going okay, what's this? And I opened it.

I found a photo of two very young women, in thong bikinis, one bending over into the other's crotch. Totally tasteless. I send him an email basically telling him enough, that was inappropriate, I'm married, I don't want that trash, he's too old to be doing this crap, etc.

So back to this morning. I get a scathing email from him saying that I am trying to be uppity, that I shouldn't be offended by a picture of two girls because they weren't naked, He's nothing like my mother (I had pointed out he is almost as old as my mother) and that I didn't need to be rude to prove that I was faithful to my husband.

After all these years, he doesn't get it. The photo didn't offend me, I see worse on the internet everyday. You should have SEEN what crap I got when I googled the word CHEERLEADER to find the image for my mood. What offended me was that he still, after all this time, after everything I've said to him, after me being married for 3 years, with my husband for six, that he still thought it was okay for him to send that to me. No one else sent me that crap after reading that post. Just him.

I emailed him back that I was done, no more reading of his emails, I want him to stay gone this time. I'm done being forgiving, done thinking that maybe he's changed and maybe he's finally grown up. I need a good kick in the pants. UGH. I feel a little better getting it off my chest.

BTW, I'm now 29.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eeeew! What a creepy man, and I so get what you are saying. Some people just don't have a clue!

12:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry you had to go through that Sara. Some guys can't let go of the "cake" they once had. But on a happier note, I like storytime. Wish it was a happier story throughout, but the ending is positive. :) Later.

-"Anonymous" AKA Dave from Boston.

1:09 PM  
Blogger em said...

First, congrats on the 4 pounds, that is awesome. Second. Ick. nasty. gross. Sorry you have to deal with this. Ick.

5:43 PM  
Blogger ............Aimeslee said...

Maybe it had to go on til you were ready to end it. Remember, never be ashamed of what life deals you, and be proud of how you successfully handle it. That just took awhile. I had an older man in my youth too, it becomes quite hypnotic. Congrats to you for breaking the bond AND for the weight loss!

9:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i had no idea Sara. Do you think this might have something to do with some of the issues you struggle with today? Not the interactions you have had with him as an adult but the ones you had as a "child"?

I hope he leaves you alone. That is one disturbed man. The locked door incident is gross and creepy.

BTW...4 lbs rocks!


9:06 AM  
Anonymous wendy said...

Hugs Sara....

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, just wow.

I'm 32 and I am not that ballsy. I mean I have the cajones to talk with you given our previous situation but seriously, this guy needs help, or a 4 x 6 concrete room.

-Just Me-

8:19 AM  

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