Wednesday, November 19, 2008

How to Feed A Baby in 17 Easy Steps

Okay, how to feed MY baby in 17-ish steps. Results with other babies may vary.

1. Notice that the baby will be due for a feeding in the next 30 minutes or so.
2. Feel frustrated because he JUST fell asleep a few minutes ago.
3. Debate just letting him sleep until he wakes up, but then decide that you know better.
4. Warm up breastmilk and pour into bottle.
5. Gently wake up sleeping baby. Smile at how cute he is as he stretches and coos.
6. Place nipple in baby's mouth. Watch him suck for, oh, maybe a minute before he falls asleep again.
7. Gently tickle baby's feet to wake him up.
8. Gently blow on his face to see if that works.
9. Wiggle nipple in baby's mouth because that might help.
10. Feel relieved when he starts sucking again.
11. Be irritated when he stops almost immediately.
12. Repeat steps 7-11 four or five more times.
13. Give up in frustration and decide to let him sleep after all.
14. Place baby in crib.
15. Decide that you could use a nap too, and lay down in bed.
16. Start to drift off to sleep. The second that you do this, the baby will sense it, wake up, and start to wail.
17. Now the baby is sufficiently awake to take the rest of his bottle!


Blogger Susanne P. said...

i always hated that 'just drifted off to sleep' feeling when my baby would wake up. grrrr....

i am so feeling for you. it gets easier.

8:30 AM  
Blogger kingsqueen said...

Isn't this how life always works? LOL

11:30 AM  
Blogger Samara Link said...

Ah, Murphey's Law at it's finest.

7:32 AM  
Blogger Lindsay Teague Moreno said...

ugh...this makes me weak in my knees.

11:46 AM  
Blogger Zee said...

Ok, so this may be a silly question but why are you waking him to feed him? The only time I woke Asa to feed him was when he was Jaundice and I HAD to. Poor little guy. Otherwise I let him sleep until he was ready to eat.

I did a some point slowly start altering his schedule(he was pretty good with his own clock for regular feedings) by 5-15 minutes until it fit what we needed it to. For example daddy took on the 4:30am feeding so we had to adjust it from 3:45.

Just reread that and I so don't mean it to sound snotty, I'm guessing that I just may have missed something is all. Sometimes I hate typing as you can't hear tone. ;)

9:00 AM  

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