Tuesday, January 08, 2008

More and more stealing of Cathy's ideas

I can't help it. I'm a fan. Today: The Top 25 Playlist.

I don't care for most of what Apple has to offer. Sure, I like my iPod, and I giggle at every PC vs. Mac commercial. I have no desire whatsoever to be a Mac user. I'm just not that hip, I guess. Sorry Cathy.

But I LOOOOOOOVE my iTunes.

I can sit on there and make playlists and browse the store for hours. It's sick, really. I take polls and quizzes on myspace based on Party Shuffle. I look for album artwork online so that my library is as complete as humanly possible. I make sure that everything is labeled by it's appropriate genre. I've also been known to add lyrics into the Get Info section.

So here Ms. Zielske does this thing where she posts her Top 25 playlist, and I wanna do it too, but there's one little problem: I've deleted all of those "smart" playlists, in favor of my own, and therefore cooler, playlists. I tinkered around and finally figured out how to re-add the booger, and make it work properly, because I know everyone is DYING to see my top 25. I know you are.

So here it is:

Upon a bit of reflection, I noticed that I had a LOT of one artist on there, so I resorted them by artist. Sure enough:

Too Funny. Guess Cathy's not the only one of whom I'm a fan!

***after trying in VAIN to scan a layout to add here for an HOUR***

I'm just having a crap-assy day. I'm TRYING to cheer myself up, but everything I try just seems to make it worse. I was going to add a layout I scraplifted in my final bit of Cathy related-ness, scraplifted from one of her designs. Now I can't even make the stupid scanner work now. It will preview, and I can look at what my scan would look like on the computer screen, but it won't actually SCAN, so that the image is imported so I can USE it. It's stupid, and it makes no sense, and their website/help center is a freaking JOKE.

I'm so frustrated. That's today's title. FRUSTRATION. Frustration so bad I feel two seconds away from tears at any moment's notice. Frustration that I feel like anger or SOMETHING is bottled up inside of me waiting to explode. Like I want to break something. Like I want to go drive recklessly. Like I want to hurt something, ANYTHING, just to get it out. I'm mad at people at work, I'm mad at people who used to be my friends, I'm mad at the scanner, I'm mad at myself for not being able to handle all this.

I was just going to scan my layout, post it, and go to bed. Now I can't sleep and my throat is doing that thing where it hurts because I just want to cry in frustration. Over the SCANNER.

But it's not the scanner, not really. I know that. Here's a stupid picture I took of the layout. It sucks.


She looks happy, and for the most part, she is. The thing that you can’t see is all of the frustration, insecurity, anger, self-doubt, sadness, fear, hurt, and anxiety that is hiding just beneath the surface. She puts on a good act, so when any of those nasty feelings come to the surface, others tend to just chalk it up to her being a drama queen. She hates the feeling of hot tears welling up when someone just doesn’t get her, when she knows that she’s not really a crier or very sentimental at all. She feels weak, small, inferior. Yeah, she looks happy, and for the most part, she is.

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