Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Baby Phat

I'm fat. I know this, and accept it, although I do not enjoy it.

However, there are those out there who are as fat or even fatter than I am, but they don't look as bad, and I have always struggled to figure out why or how this is. I think I may have figured it out though.

First off - my boobs. No matter what I weigh, they are ALWAYS a c-cup. It's not that I am wearing bad bras, I always get remeasured after a weight gain or loss of more than a couple pounds. It's great when I am thinner, because in proportion to the rest of me, they are very generous. But when I get a belly, well, I'm positively flat chested!

Which leads me to my belly. I am an apple shaped person, apparently, and consequently all my belly fat piles up on itself in front of me. I could pass for 8 months pregnant if I tried. I see these big girls in ads for Just My Size and Lane Bryant and they have FLAT BELLIES!!! WTF?

Another problem area: My chin. I have like fifty of them. Related to this problem area is my neck. Honestly, who gains weight in their NECK? I have necklaces that I can't wear anymore because my neck is too fat. When you look at photos of me, I have neck rolls. It's kinda disgusting, actually.

I do have some good areas. For instance, I'm not the tiniest bit worried about cankles. My ankles are nice and slim. Same thing for my wrists. Ooh, but my fingers are chunky though.

And my knees! Whoever heard of fat knees! I should get a knee lift like Demi Moore.

Or I could, you know, just go to the gym. I have a membership. But that wouldn't be nearly as much fun as talking about my fat neck, now would it?


Blogger em said...

I have huge fingers. Which puzzles me because I regularily exercise them while playing the piano!!

As for the preggo belly...I was laying in bed last night thinking...wow...I really could get away with it if I stick my gut out!!!

Phat people rock.w

3:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those plus sized models have flat bellies after a girdle and a lot of airbrushing.

-Just Me

8:22 AM  
Blogger Cheryl Wray said...

Okay, I'm seriously laughing here. Funny, funny . . .
I'm also amazed how some larger women are just much more attractive than others. Their bodies are just in better proportion for some reason.
My stomach is my least favorite part of my body. I know I could be doing sit-ups for that . . . but who wants to do that?

9:06 AM  
Blogger ............Aimeslee said...

You girls are killing me with laughter here, ROFL, I so think all so same thoughts.

The other day I had the TV on in the background on Comedy Channel. Well, I perked up and got edumacated -- some blonde comedienne who hosts Biggest Loser, Caroline Rhea? Thanks to her I learned that the biggest irritation of my life (ha, so far) has a name: muffin top. ROFL Aperson could probably grow mushroom under mine! Ok, that's TMI, sorry! teehee


11:47 PM  

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