You just can't have it all

I love being a girl.

I love frilly things, makeup, the color pink, little dogs wearing clothes, toenail polish, baking, home decorating, shopping. Even with the sucky parts (periods and cramps!!!) the good still outweighs the bad.

But sometimes, I get pissy inside because I can't have the cool boy stuff too.

I just was reading this guys blog. Now, most of the blogs I read belong to females. I've never really read a man's blog before (okay a STRAIGHT man's blog). One thing that caught my attention was that he frequently said that he was "the man".

Why isn't there an equivalent of that phrase for girls? I'm the WOman? That sounds STUPID!

And we don't have nuts to make gross, idiotic statements about. Lick my left nut and tickle the right one... that's classic! Sometimes, I'll admit that I say that I would give my left nut for...(fill in the blank). It's funny because I don't HAVE testicles, ha ha, get it?

Sometimes, I wanna be gross like a guy. I wanna be able to scratch myself, belch, cuss, go to the strip club and be a pig with my friends. I want to be able to wear a swimsuit with my cheese gut hanging out in all it's groteque glory and NOT CARE. I wanna be the MAN!!!

Oooh, but then sometimes, I wanna be the GAY man. I want to be the flamboyant, Dior wearing, lip gloss kissing, purse toting, FABULOUS man! I wanna be catty and loud, and all the stuff that scares those homophobic good ol' boys from some of those southern states. All except the sex part, hee hee.

I guess maybe I'm just a tad bit confused.