Thursday, December 23, 2010

The State of My Navel

Many, many years ago, I got my navel pierced. I wanted the piercing for a really long time, and once I had it I was super excited. This was in the late 90's and it was a SUPER trendy thing to do. Well, this piercing had issues. It was tender ALL THE TIME. I caught it on things. It would be fine one hour and red, swollen, and oozing the next. Nine months went by and the stupid thing had still not healed, despite me religiously cleaning it every day as per the piercer's instructions.

Then I got pneumonia.

Well, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. There were x-rays taken of my chest, and I sat there in total disbelief as the doctor explained to me that the cloudiness in the pictures was the fluid in my lungs. I was 23! I was young! Pneumonia was something that old people got that landed them in the hospital!

She prescribed a Z-pack and sent me home with instructions to lie in bed for a week. Well, after a week went by I felt better except for one thing - I couldn't speak more than 3-4 words without having to start gasping for air. Back to the doctor!

The doctor who had seen me the first time was not in, so I saw someone else. After waiting FOREVER in a little curtained cubicle, she came in and asked what was wrong. I started to explain that I had been in a week prior with pneumonia when she cut me off and said I didn't have pneumonia. This woman hadn't even looked at me yet! Her eyes were on a clipboard, how would she know what I did and didn't have? I again repeated that I had been diagnosed with pneumonia and she repeated that I didn't have pneumonia, but offered nothing further. Finally, I told her that I had been shown the fluid in my lungs on an x-ray, and the doctor had said that was pneumonia!

She said that wasn't fluid. That was my breasts. Apparently boobs are so rare in medical science it is possible to misdiagnose them as a serious illness. I was pissed because I then had to pay for the right medications for my illness (bronchitis) and, because in the course of her exam, she told me I had to remove my navel piercing because it was infected. I told her it wasn't and she assured me that it was.

Well, anyone who has gotten a piercing knows the first thing they tell you is that you do NOT remove a piercing due to infection. You can trap it inside your skin and make it worse. I told her this and she said she knew nothing about that, but it looked like I had a serious allergy to the jewelry and it was infected.

The little light bulb went off in my head - if my ears were allergic to anything not silver or gold, perhaps my belly button could be the same way? Talk about your "duh" moments! I went out right away and bought a GOLD bar for it and wouldn't you know - that thing healed up in two weeks!

I came across that little gold bar while sorting and putting things away a few days ago. I hadn't seen it since I removed it from my navel the night I went into the hospital to be induced, 28 months ago. A couple of months ago I was looking at my piercing site and it didn't look like it had closed completely as I thought it had, so I took a thin wire hook earring and popped it in there. Sure enough, it was open, but the hole was small. Would my bar be able to go in that space?

I said what the heck and shoved it in. It took a little bit of wiggling, but I got it in there. Now I'm a fat kid with a belly piercing! It's been a little tender the past couple days, understandably, but hopefully it goes back to just being another piece of jewelry soon.

No photos. You're welcome. :)



Blogger Becky said...

haha! I read my blogs in the morning while eating breakfast and I didn't open this one because I was afraid you were going to have pictures!! I know you are hardcore like that sometimes. :)
Now you are the cool mom with the belly ring!

8:06 AM  
Blogger AZAnjanette said...

hilarious post! Happy Holidays Miss M!

10:00 AM  
Blogger Anne Alagna said...

OMG, I just spit Pepsi out my nose!

7:30 PM  

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