Friday Night

After I got off the phone with the detective Friday afternoon, I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. Unfortunately, I have huge windows in both my living room and dining room that face the courtyard and their patio, so every time I looked outside or passed from room to room I was looking there. I tried closing the blinds, but since I usually have them open, seeing them closed just reminded me of why they were closed in the first place.

Not too long after my husband got home we got a phone call from one of our friends. They had a baby last week, and have only been home with her a few days. She was having difficulty getting the baby to eat, and her lactation consultant wouldn't give her a pump when she asked for one, telling her instead to wait a week to see if she needed it.

I know, right?

So we packed up the baby and my pump and headed across town. I was willing to take any excuse I could get to get out of the house and away from those windows. I know you're technically not supposed to share pumps, but I've known this girl for longer than I've known my husband and I'm pretty confident she's not carrying the creeping crud, and if she were, would have the sense to tell me so since our children are involved. Besides, I know how much it hurts to be engorged like that, and the frustration of not being able to feed the baby. Add to that new mom hormones, and it's a pretty nasty thing to have to deal with!

We got there, and the first thing everyone said was HOLY CRAP Sawyer is HUGE! LOL! I'm thinking, you just saw him two weeks ago, he hasn't grown THAT much! Then I saw the baby. At that point, it was my turn to say holy crap. She only weighed three ounces less than Bubba did when he was born. It was so hard to wrap my head around the fact that he used to be that small! She didn't feel like she weighed a thing. I couldn't believe it.

We got the new mom set up with the pump, and we took turns holding the baby. When she woke up, she was offered the breast again, and after what felt like forever, she finally started to eat. I have to tell you, I don't miss that feeling at all. To be completely exhausted, to have a crying infant who won't do what you know they can do, the relief when they finally do, and then just having that all shatter when they stop again after a minute leaving you feeling like a hopeless failure. That feeling you get when you think about the fact that people have been doing this for millions of years, so WHY CAN'T I??? Dogs can do it with no help!!!

BLAH. It's just too recent.

So the baby ate finally, and then it was time to put her down for a nap. Mom held her, and she cried. Dad tried walking her around and swaddling her, but still, she cried. So, I tried. I reswaddled her so she couldn't get her arms out, popped the binky in her mouth, swung/bounced her side to side, and shushed her all the while.

And damned if she didnt' fall asleep.

For the first time in my whole entire life, I was able to soothe a baby other than my own, and I did it on my first try. All of a sudden, I felt sorta competent as a mother, like maybe I was finally getting this. I looked at those tired new parents, and realized - I'm showered. I'm dressed. My hair is combed. I have makeup on. I can feed my baby and he's sleeping through the night for the most part now. He's clean and dressed. We're all rested. And now, I can soothe a baby and put it to sleep.

We've come a looooooooong way in the past 4 1/2 months!

We put Bubba down for a nap, and told Mom to go lay down too. I chatted with the dads for a bit while we watched the baby sleep. Next thing I know, this is the scene:

I was the only one awake in the whole dang house, ha ha!

Not too long after that, Mom woke up and we set her up to pump again. I taught her how to connect everything, how to hold it properly, and how to clean all the parts. She decided to get a pump the next day no matter what, and I'm glad, because really, who needs the added stress at a time like this? I'm glad that we were able to go over there and be able to help. It's always nice to be able to share what you have learned.