Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Milk Man

I can't believe I'm about to post this, but it's too out there NOT to share.

Lately, I've been thinking that I wanted to get the baby a Bumbo seat. The problem is that these things are almost forty bucks, and the baby usually only gets a couple of months of use out of the thing. To me, that's a bad investment for a hunk of molded foam. I figured the max I'd be willing to pay for one would be about $15, so I've been checking Craigslist every now and then to see if I came across one.

People on Craigslist must smoke crack. I decided. How else do you explain someone wanting $25 for a hunk of molded foam with some stains and pen marks? Um, no thank you!

Anyhow, I came across a listing, in the baby and kids section mind you, that read, "Oversupply of Breastmilk?" Intrigued, I clicked on the entry. It said basically that the person was willing to pay cash for someone's extra breastmilk. I thought about the freezer full of milk in my kitchen. I thought about how money's been a little tight since the baby was born due to all the hospital bills and insurance rejecting claims left and right. I thought about how much I missed my Diorshow mascara and how much the Maybelline Colossal mascara sucked in comparison, despite what the peas said.

So I clicked "reply" out of curiosity.

As a lot of my readers know, I've been donating my excess milk to a mother of twins in New Mexico. I've donated a LOT of milk. Like, six giant coolers full so far. I ask for nothing in return except the little bags I use to freeze it, since technically I give them back to them in the end. I like knowing that I'm helping someone else out in this way. But, we are also slightly cash poor right now. It would be nice to have some fun money.

I figured, I could still donate some and maybe sell some on the side for the extra cash. I'm only pumping about four times a day now, and still making plenty of milk. I could add an extra session in to get a bit more, and everyone would still get what they needed and wanted. No sweat, right? So I sent the person an email asking if the milk was for a baby.

Immediately, I get a reply that said no, and had a smiley face from some guy. So I sent him another one asking what the milk was for, and what he was paying. A friend once told me that there were bodybuilders who liked to drink human milk because it helped them bulk up or something, and since it was hard to come by, they paid a lot of money for it. I was thinking, maybe this guy is one of those people. I'd still be okay with that.

Then I get my email response. Brace yourself! It read:

milk is for me and i dont want to get it pumped i want to get it from the source and price we can talk about.

OH. MY. GOD. I about DIED. People do this? Really? I definitely was NOT okay with the thought of some stranger "getting it from the source." EW. I mean, my child doesn't even get it from there! So I politely let him know I was not interested at this time. I should have known a Craigslist person would not let it go so easily. I got this one next:

pretty simple thing, if you change your mind im only interested in the nursing nothing more :)

I hadn't even thought about anything "more"!!! I just left it alone. No more interactions from me, that's for sure. I woke up this morning to:

leaving to go overseas here in a few so dont have time to really establish a relationship but have gotten interested in adult nursing so been looking for someone interested or at least open to the idea and will explore it with me

I went ahead and let him know that not only was I not interested, my husband was definitely not interested. I haven't heard back from him again. This brought up a question in my mind though - would this sort of thing count as prostitution? I mean, he'd be paying for a sort of gratification of his fetish, which would be kind of sexual. My husband said it would depend on if you considered the guy to be receiving a good or receiving a service. I said if it was just receiving the goods, he would be okay with pumped milk. He said maybe we'll see it come up on an episode of Law and Order one day.

I won't hold my breath.


Blogger seh80 said...

Oh daaamn. O.O Thats all, just damn.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Susanne P. said...

HOLY SHIT!! that is about the weirdist thing i have ever heard.

12:35 PM  
Blogger kingsqueen said...

Omgosh! ICK! ICK! ICK!
LOL. You're right - that WAS too out there not to share.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh my! That's way too freaky for me. If I were you, I'd block him on my email. That way he can't contact you again. *shudder*

3:25 PM  
Blogger Zee said...

OMG!!! Leave it to you to find the weird-o hey!?

8:27 PM  
Blogger Sharlene said...

EWWWWWWWW!i've heard about this and it was even on an episode of CSI.
i googled the episode was King Baby. weird stuff!

8:45 PM  
Blogger Samara Link said...

Fucking hilarious! I can't believe that! That's so nasty. Bad, boy.

7:57 AM  
Blogger em said...

OH MY GOD. I cannot even believe that. Well, I can...but seriously!!! ICK!!!

6:26 PM  
Blogger Hooptee said...

I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor. That is so crazy! I've never heard of that before and I'm really sorry I've heard of it now!

10:54 AM  
Blogger EatCrayons said...

One word...Craigslist. Ha! Full of crazies. I've read similar stories on BabyCenter. Wonder if the guy has childhood abandonment issues? =P

As for the Bumbo, I'd say skip it. Once Eibhleann hit about 5mons. or so I stopped using it, while we were always used it on the floor, she wouldn't stay put.Crawl forward to get out, or throw herself back. I was afraid she'd hurt herself.

11:05 AM  
Blogger emily said...

OMG! That is all I have to say!

8:53 AM  

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