Monday, July 04, 2011
Um, proceed with caution.
Yes, I know today is the fourth of July. Everyone is out there getting their Independence Day on while I'm sitting in my living room, grumpy, annoyed at the world and blogging. Seriously, EVERYTHING has the potential to annoy me today. In fact, I even got annoyed at an orange for having too much pith as I tried to zest it a little while ago. I'm completely on edge, and I know exactly why.
I have this video of one of my dogs on YouTube. It's a stupid little video, less than a minute long. I made it because we had this one year where it rained almost every day for two weeks. My dog is spoiled and HATES getting her feet wet. I'm talking to the point if you open the door to take her out and she sees it's raining, she has no problem squatting in the doorway to relieve herself. Even now that we have the back yard so they don't go on walks, we have to carry her to the middle of the yard and hold an umbrella over her head so she'll pee. Ridiculous.
Anyway, I came across these dog shoes at Target on clearance for $4 and figured, hey, it was worth a shot. The thinking was that maybe if her feet stayed dry, she wouldn't be as bothered by going out in the rain. I didn't take into account that she might just not like the shoes, which of course is what happened. We put them on her one time, made a video at the resulting hilarity, and then put the shoes away where they were never worn by anyone else again.
For some reason though, people keep finding this thing though. It has over 150,000 hits, which I think is totally insane. Most of the comments that get left are pretty harmless, but I've gotten a few doozies on there. Like the people who like to tell me that I'm cruel, or that "omg this iz torcher" (and yes, the mean comments are mostly misspelled). My favorite one so far was the one that said "How would you like it if someone put boots on you?"
Of course, no one ever reads the note under the video explaining why she was wearing the shoes or that she only wore them that one time.
Well, this morning, when I checked my email (as I do first thing when I wake up) I was greeted with a notification from YouTube that I had received a comment on that video, and this is what it read:
I was LIVID!!! What the heck does that even mean? There's no way to NOT be disrespectful to someone who really can't have children with that statement. NONE. And then for this to show up in my mailbox today?
This particular anniversary is hard to forget because I remember being at a friend's fourth of July party last year and having everyone congratulating us over the pregnancy when I started spotting. Every time I would go to the bathroom I would pray so hard that it had stopped, and I would implore my baby to just hold on, please, hold on. Every time it would still be the same and I had to go back out to that party and put on my happy face and pretend that everything was okay, when in truth, inside my heart was breaking.
So I get this email today, when I'm dealing with going through the anniversary of actually having had a miscarriage and dealing with the uncertainty that hey, maybe I really can't have anymore children...
This is not the kind of crap I need. Usually I just delete those comments but today, I stooped to that person's level and I replied.
Of course, then they replied.
WHAT ON EARTH could possibly be going on in your life that you would want to be that mean to a complete stranger, one who had never done a single thing to hurt you, one who JUST TOLD YOU THAT SHE MAY, IN FACT, NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN??? Why? And what the hell is wrong with me that I would let it get to me to the point where it would not only color everything that I do today, and how I feel about it, but actually to be sitting here crying about it?
I did something that I thought would help my dog, which didn't. I never did it again. It gave us a few laughs, and I put myself up for criticism when I posted it online. True, it was posted a long time ago, before you could put videos straight to Blogger and YouTube was the easiest way to host something if you wanted it on your blog, but still, it's out there. I will not "admit" that it was cruel, because it was not. It was done for her benefit, it didn't work, it never happened again, she wore them for maybe 5 minutes total, and she was not hurt in any way, shape, or form. If I was dismissive over how my dog felt, I wouldn't have given a shit if she didn't like getting her feet wet.
I know I shouldn't let the mean, hateful words of someone who I've never even met from the-freaking-internet-for-pete's-sake get to me. I know it's stupid. Still.
I don't even have a stupid cat.
EDITED TO ADD
He just sent me ANOTHER message. Apparently I'm his pet project today and he's decided to not leave me alone.
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