The Most Offensive Cookie Ever?*

As I roam across the Internet, I come across a lot of recipes. When I see one that looks interesting, I copy it and paste it into a Word document. It then gets saved into my recipe folder on my laptop. This means that I have hundreds of recipes on my computer and no idea where they came from usually when I get around to making them. If I were smarter and more organized I would type the source at the bottom of each one, or heck, even paste the URL on there, but nope. I keep on keeping on like I always have.

Of course, I then find myself making something and wanting to share it but having no idea to whom credit for the original recipe should be given. In this particular instance though, perhaps it's best that I don't. See, I was wanting to make cookies, but I wanted to try something new. I've been making oatmeal or chocolate chip or sugar the past few months and I'm a little tired of the same old same old. I opened up my MS Word program and began to peruse the cookie folder when one jumped out at me.

Mulattoes.

Who the heck would name a cookie that? Can you imagine, giving these to someone and having to tell them what they're called? I'd be embarrassed for sure. It's sort of like when I was a kid and not knowing what a Brazil nut's proper name was until I was in high school. Sheesh. Anyway, I didn't remember this recipe at all, but a quick glance a the ingredient list told me that these should be very tasty cookies indeed, despite the unfortunate moniker.

Only make these if you really really really love dark, slightly bitter chocolate and lots of nuts. You've been warned.

First you need some chocolate. Please, for the love of all that is good in life, do not use cheap chocolate when you bake. If you're going to indulge, it may as well be the good stuff. I mean, no one sings the praises of wine coolers when there's 50 year old Scotch around, am I right? Granted, there are better chocolates out there than this, but I'm also a poor stay at home mom. Keep that in mind.

Besides, when you use Baker's chocolate and Nestle chips, the angels cry. I'm sure of it.

Now that I'm done reminding you how much of an ingredient snob I am, take 2 ounces of unsweetened chocolate, chopped up, 6 ounces of semi-sweet chocolate (I use chips, because it's just easier) and two tablespoons of butter. Melt them in a double boiler or the microwave. If you go the microwave route (like lazy old me) only nuke them for 30 seconds at a time, stirring until mostly cool in between so that you don't scorch your chocolate. Set it aside to cool.

Next, sift together 1/4 cup of all purpose flour,

1/4 teaspoon baking powder,

and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Also set this aside.

In a third bowl, beat together two eggs, 3/4 cup sugar, 1 tablespoon instant coffee, and a teaspoon of vanilla extract. Aren't my brown eggs pretty? I started buying cage free eggs from vegetarian hens. I know that the cage free thing is pretty much a joke, but I like knowing that the hens aren't being fed other animal byproducts. (This practice is what led in part to Mad Cow disease in cows) The shells on these are a bit thicker than on regular eggs and don't crumble when you crack them. Of course, I'd love to switch to free range organic eggs, but at $5 a carton, they're a bit outside my budget!

Stir the melted chocolate mixture into the egg mixture.

Add the sifted flour mixture and stir by hand just until combined.

Add one cup each of chocolate chips, chopped walnuts, and chopped pecans. Again, stir just until combined. You are going to have the goopiest, ugliest cookie batter/dough that you have ever seen in your life! Not only that, but the longer it sits in the bowl, the more the chocolate will solidify and the worse it will look. Just have trust in Miss M, and keep going.

Drop the batter by rounded tablespoons onto your baking sheet. As you can see here, I did mine on a Silpat. They don't spread much while baking so what they look like on the cookie sheet is pretty much how they will look when they're done, so keep them as rounded as possible.

I'm going to be honest here - as I was shaping the first batch I had horrible visions of finding puddles of melted chocolate with nuts sitting in the middle due to the high chocolate/low flour content. It freaked me out a bit because between the chocolate and the two kinds of nuts, these aren't exactly the cheapest cookies to make.

I needn't have worried. The cookies turned out fine. They're delicious, dark, and rich. I don't think I'd be able to eat more than a few at a time. My husband echoed the sentiment, adding that they'd be great with some vanilla ice cream or a tall glass of cold milk. They're not the prettiest cookies, but the flavor more than makes up for that. The only problem is that dang name!

It's not even accurate! I would think cookies called a mulattoes would be, oh I don't know, a lighter shade of brown? Either way, I would like to come up with something new to call these. Since they're not a really a common cookie, it wouldn't be like renaming chocolate chip cookies, you know? So, if you have an idea for what I should call these that would be more, I don't know, socially acceptable, I'd love to hear your ideas in the comments!

*probably not the MOST offensive cookie ever, not when there's stuff out there like this.